Total Action Kingdom
by bmlee722
Summary: 24 popular Square Enix characters will once again compete for 999999 munny. Season 2.
1. The World Showcase

Mickey: Oh boy. Well we sure had fun in TOTAL...DRAMA...KINGDOM! But all good things must end as new good things start. This time around things are gonna get wild ese, because all tweleve competitors are coming back. They're ganna compete for that 9999 munny all over again. But what's the fun in getting the same thing. Now they're going to get 999999 munny. They will fight harder. Play harder. And win harder. But that's not even the big twist. We will bring, in addition to the original twelve, TWELVE MORE COMPETITORS! So our originals will have to mak new friends in order to survive. It all happens on the premire of TOTAL...ACTION...KINGDOM!

_(Theme song:  
Dear mom and dad I'm doin' fine  
You guys are on my mind  
You asked me what I wanted to be and now I think the answers plain to  
I wanna be famous_

_I wanna live close to the sun  
so pack your bags 'cause I already won  
Everythin' to prove nothin' in my way  
I'll get there one day  
'Cause I wanna be famous_

_Nanananananananananana (I wanna ba famous)  
Nanananananananananana (I wanna be famous)  
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous)_

Mickey: (on the same docks the original twelve arrived in) Now of couse how could I start without my good friends (Thier faces show up on screen in the "..." between the names)... Riku... Aerith... Leon... Cloud... Roxas... Sora... Tifa... Yuna... Kairi... Tidus... and Auron.

(The original twelve show up on a boat, they are dancing and partying on top)

Mickey: Welcome back guys. Well, I gues with them out of the way, alls there is that's left is to bring out the other twleve. But first let's go over the rules. (In the woods) Now anywhere at any time, you will be watched by one of the hundreds of hiden cameras. (Mickey looks into one and it turns into a screen at Mickey's tent) I will then go over the tapes here in my profuction tent. This TV here is the confessional stall. (Iff you ever need to tell the viewer something, just say it in there (At the elinimations spot) Every third night, we fire up the camp fire and vote someone out. That person must get there things and get the heck outta here on our boat. They will then go to a different spot than Losers Les Resorto. (back at the dock) Mickey Now I guess we have to check out our first competitor...

Leon: Hey, Mickey is something different?

Mickey: Oh, I forgot. I got tired of this old smelly forest so we built a fake city. (There are dozens of fake buildings behind Mickey). This should lead to all sorts of challenges. Sinc I divided them into different countries like in EPCOT*. But you will both be in your own districts of each country. Now, where is our next guy. He should be here by now. Oh there he is. Please welcome... Axel.

_*(If you have ever been in EPCOT you should know what I mean)_

Axel: (instead of boats, they arrive in cabs) Sup guys. The names Axel. Got it memorized?

Cloud: Uhhh, yeah. I do.

Mickey: Great, let's you you remember our gorgous Namine.

Namine: Eeee! I'm so excited. Oh my gosh! Is that Riku. Let me touch him.

Mickey: Haha, well our next... (Lighting strikes as Larxene gets off the boat)

Larxene: How did I get conned into this bullshit. I'm so calling my lawyer.

Mickey: Yeah that'd be a good idea if you GOT cell reception here.

Larxene: You've got to be kidding?

Mickey: Nope, it was all in the contract.

Larxene: (take the contract off of Mickey) Her's what I think of your contract (she tears it up).

Mickey: Haha, yeah. The good thing about lawyers is that they make LOTS of copies. (pulls out another one)

Laxene: Oh, shove it, mouse!

Mickey: Wow, she's pissed. The next one probably is too, but... Vincent Valentine.

Vincent: What happened to the old forest?

Mickey: Gone.

Vincent: This already sucks.

Mickey: Tell me about it. So... Seifer, c'mon down.

Seifer: Oh, I'm suppoesed to be challenged by the geeks.

Mickey:.... Yeah.

Seifer: Look, I'm my high school teams MVP in soccer, footbal, basketball, and tennis. I'm not going ot lose.

Mickey: suuure. So I wonder is Lulu is anymore PO'd that the rest.

Lulu: What happened to my moogle.

Mickey: Oh, that's right you brought a friend. Well, we kinda.. don't allow helpers so we sent it back home.

Lulu: I can't believe you did that.

Mickey: Yeah yeah, go stand by the other vampire.

Vincent: I am NOT a vampire!

Mickey: Whatever. PLease say a warm "hello" to our next... Selphie.

Selphie: (fast) Hey, guys. I was like so excited to be here and I was like "Ahhh!" I swear I blew my moms ear drums because she's like that ya know because I come from a long line of like people with weak eyes cause I like am always so excited, ya know.

Everyone:......... o_0

Mickey: Oookay, so Let's meet the next homeslice... Wakka.

Wakka: Nice, mon. Dis is like da coolist ting ever. Ya know mon.

Mickey: That's a strong accent, bud.

Wakka: Ya. I'm from da south, bro.

Mickey: I heard the weathers nice there.

Wakka: Oh yeah cause we like it like dat.

Mickey: Me too. So, hands together for... Terra.

Terra: Hey, mouse-man (give Mickey a high five). Sup?

Mickey: Well, a lot since the show started.

Terra: Haha, well me too.

Mickey: You shake it over there cool guy. (points to the others)

Terra: I here ya. (walks away)

Mikckey: Haha, nice guy. I hope this next girl is too. She's... Aqua.

Aqua: Hello, Mickey. I'm a big fan.

Mickey: I know, lots of people are.

Auqa: Hehe, I can see why. You're so cute.

Mickey: *blushes* Well well well, meet me by the fire tonight...

Camera man: Psst, Mickey, man, you're MARRIED.

Mickey: Oh wha, oh yeah. I was just kidding. Well, if I'm not dead as soon as I get home, I might as well say my "hello's" to... Ven.

Ven: Awesome, man. (walks over and looks at Roxas).... lookin' good man.

Roxas: You too.

Mickey: Yeah, I'm not seein' a resemblance between those two. Well, welcome...

(The ground shakes and the sky darkens)

Sephiroth: (falls from the sky the way he did in FFVII) (He gets up and stares at Mickey) You're 24th player... couldn't make it. So I'll take his place. Or else!

Mickey: He he... Okay... j-just ch-chill and-and... DON'T HURT ME!

Sephiroth: That's what I thought. Hmph. So these are the losers I'm up against.

Coud: Hey, man. I didn't see you here last season! You got no God-give right to say that.

Sephiroth: Well... we'll see.

Mickey: Once again the will be two teams. The Steamboats and the Runaways. Everyone who was in season one stand over there and everyone who is new to Total Action Kingdom stand over there. The season onsies will be the Steamboats and the new guys are the Runaways. Now the Steamboats cabin is in the Chinese district and the Runaways will be in the German district. Get to it.

_(The Steamboat's cabin)_

Everyone: WOO HOO!

Yuffie: Alright. We rock. There is no way we are gonna lose to those noobs.

Tidus: Time to show what I'm made of... AGAIN!

Everyone: YEAH! ALRIGHT!

Sora: C'mon, let's be a team again guys. From now on, NO Goofy Dogs and NO Mighty Ducks!

Leon: Amen to that, bro.

Riku: Isn't it awesome that we're all on the same team. It would've sucked to be mixed in with the noobs.

Cloud: Let's DO IT!

Auron: woo hoo, yeah.

Aerith: I don't even care that you are so unentusiastec. Cause we rock!

_(The Runaway's cabin)_

(There are all sitting in thier cabin with a awkward scilence)

Terra: So...

Ven:......So...

Terra: Anyone... feel like winning.

Selphie: Omy my God, there was like this one time whe like everything was all like quiet and stuff and so we like ya know like tlaked about like the next challenge cause like my friends are like that ya know.

Axel: Hey, crazy chick's got a point. What do you guys think the next challenge will be

Sephiroth: No idea. But just because the losers have done this before, doesn't mean they have some sort of undeserved advantege.

Ven: Yeah, cause MIckey said evrything's gonna be different.

Vincent: I guess we have to hope for the best. Nothing more, nothing less.

Wakka: Da vampire's right mon. We gotta win dis is we wanna stay. Or else one a us is gonna home. We don't want dat. We just met, dude.

Lulu: What are you saying, party boy.

Wakka: What's I'm sayin' is dat we gotta introduce ourselves ya know.

Lulu: Okay, I know that you're a mindless boy toy is is probably good in challenges.

Seifer: Hey, ya know, I'm good too.

Lulu: By the way you said that, you probably aren't. So I don't know much about the cute one. (stare at Terra)

Terra: Huh? Me? No, I'm not that kinda guy. (winks at Aqua)

Aqua: *blushes*

Ven: Well, we have to pick somebody if we lose.

Sephiroth: The key word there is "if".

Namine: Yeah, we have a good chace of winning. By the looks of it, we have eight good athletes, me, Selphie, and Seifer.

Seifer: WHAT!?

Selphie: Hey, it's cool. I know I'm not athletinc, but this one time.

Lulu: We don't care, spazz. We need a game plan.

PA System: (Mickey's voice) G'day players. Time to head to the food lodge for lunch. You can choose any country to eat in. China, France, Italy, Canada, U.S.A we got 'em all. Enjoy.

(Italian Resturant)

(Aqua sits down by herself)

???: Mind if I join ya?

Aqua: Wha?

(Terra is standing over her)

Terra: I just wanted to know if this seat was taken.

Aqua: *blushes* No, not at all.

Terra: Good, (sits down) you know you blush a lot.

Aqua: Oh, I'm sorry.

Terra: No, I like it. It's cute.

(They stare into each others eyes and start to make out)

(The Chinese Resturant)

(Every one of the Steamboats are partying there)

(Namine peaks in to see what the noise is, Roxas sees her)

Roxas: Guys, I'll uhh... be right back. (He runs out after her)

(Outside Axel is flirting with Namine)

Axel: So yeah. That's how I became a member of Organization XIII.

Namine: *blushes* That is so intersting Axel.

Roxas: Yeah, so interesting. Know what else is interesting? Me taking Namine out for some Mexican food.

Namine: Hehe, thanks. (She takes his hand)

Axel: Funny, I was gonna take her to some Japanese food. I saw you wanted Chinese food, so I figured how different could Japanese be?

Roxas: It's REALLY diferent. So, do you like Mexican food.

Namine: I uhh...

Axel: No, You wanted Aisen food so...

Roxas: Well she sadi she like Mexican food.

Namine: Guys stop. I think I'll eat by myself tonight. (wlals away but runs afer she a good distance away)

Roxas: Look what you did, noob.

Axel: I think that you're the one who scared her off.

Roxas: Yeah, right.

Axel: Well, let's put a bet on it. First one to have her willingly kiss them wins the others vote in the finale.

Roxas: Deal considering you won't even make it that far.

Axel: I didn't see you getting that close last year either.

Roxas: We'll see.

_(Confessional Stall)_

Roxas: What is with that guy.

_(Competition)_

(All of the players are in front of Mickey in the Norway District

Mickey: I hope all of you enjoyed lunch. You better have since we fired Pete and got REAL chefs. Now it's time for you first challenge. Norway has become famous for it's mythical creatures and ferries. Each of your challenges on Total Action Kingdom will revolve around one of these countries. Now you may be wondering why we decided to go to Norway for the Fist challenge. Well that's becaous a grand explorer named Klaus Von Griffinthdor made his way across the mighty lands of the troll Gods armed with just a canoe.

Leon: That never happened. You just made that up.

Mickey:........o_0. Leon, must you emabrass me in front of the newbies. I want to make a good impression.

Leon: Well they'll just end up hating you just like we all did.

Mickey: True, but you guys were smarter.

Seifer: Hey! We're smart too.

Mickey: Whatever. So you will be in one of these big canoes with the rest of your team. You will paddle to the realm of the trolls where you must cross thier land, steal thier treasure, and come back... UNHARMED. So you must use your wits and brawn to get by these guys. By the way. Trolls are incredibly tough and crafty. So be on your toes. And... GO!

(The teams run to thier canoes)

(The Steamboats Canoe)

Roxas: So do you belive the story of the trolls.

Sora: Nah, Mickey's just trying to scare us.

Tifa: Even if there were trolls I could take them.

Roxas: I know. I saw you fight that monster in season one.

Tifa: That thing was weak.

Sora: Hey, that's a good plan.

Leon: What?

Sora: Even if there are trolls, it would be a good idea to keep Tifa in the front. She can clear a path for us.

Cloud: Now you're using your head, Sora.

Sora: Thanks.

Riku: But what if Tifa goes down? We need a back-up.

Tifa: I won't go down.

Leon: I think that me Cloud and Riku should fight in her place. While Aerith and Sora tend to her.

Tifa: I WON'T GO DOWN!

(The Runaway's canoe)

_(Confessional Stall)_

Larxene: Oh my God. These shows are so predictable. All you need to win is an alliance. And the perceft alliance members are someone stupid and someone desperate enough to actually fall for ridiclous lies and blindly follow me.

_(Competition)_

Wakka: Dis is like so cool, mon. I mean like da rowin' in dis breeze here. Dis is nice.

Seplie: Okay, I like love to row. Don't you? It's like so fun 'case it causes like bonding and like muscles and stuff.

_(Confessional Stall)_

Larxene: Perfect.

_(Competition)_

(Troll Island)

(Both teams arrive at about the same time)

Mysterois Growl: Aaaahhaarooo.

Namine: What was that? (She cuddles up against Roxas)

Roxas: (pats her back) Oh, nothing. I'll protect you.

Aerith: Ahem. Roxas, she's on the other team.

Roxas: Oh, yeah I knew that. (to Namine) Hey, watch for yourself okay.

Namine: Okay *blushes*. Bye Roxas.

Roxas: Bye Namine.

(The Runaways)

Lulu: I saw that.

Namine: Saw what?

Lulu: You were all over him.

Namine: I don't know what you're talking about.

Lulu: My moole drools less over a Bigg's Elixer.

Namine: Well, if you want the truth he is kinda cute.

Axel: I f you ask me he's a sap.

Lulu: Jealous, huh?

Axel: No, I just saw him chicken out in that episode of last season. He's a chicken.

Namine: He's not like that. He's cool and brave. I would've chickened out if I was against Cloud, too. He's strong.

Axel: I could've taken him.

Lulu: I'd like to see you try.

(The Steamboats)

Auron: Does anyone know which way the treasue is.

Leon: This map says that way.

Tidus: I don't see any trolls, though. Are you sure this is right.

Sora: For the last time there are no...

Myserious Growl: AROOOOGAR!

Sora: Uhh... I've been wrong before.

_(Confessional Stall)_

Sora: Okay, one thing is for sure. I am definately not a chicken.

_(Competition)_

(The Runaways)

Larxene: Oh Wakk, Selphie. Could I see you for a moment.

Wakka: Sure, bra.

Selphie: What is it?

Larxene: Okay, so I can get us to the final three.

Wakk: Waoh.

Selphie: Eeeee! The final three. Really?

Larxene: Oh yeah. But first you have to swear to be in the alliance, and never betray anyone in it.

Wakk: I can do dat.

Selphie: Sure.

Larxene: Good. Then we have a deal.

_(Confessional Stall)_

Selphie: Eeee! the final three. I am like so excited casue if I like get the money, I'll like make like all the stamps with like bananas on them and then I'll become like a zillionare so I'll be like able to buy like all the armoured bangles I like totally want. This is is like that cool.

_(Confessional Stall)_

Larxene: I can play these losers like a freakin violin. It is so easy, it's almost not fun... almost.

_(Competition)_

(The Steamboats)

(They found the treasure)

Cloud: No way. Check it out guys. This is major awesomness ringht here, bro.

Sora: (takes it) Boo ya!

Kairi: Om my God, Sora, you are so hot right now. (She kisses him)

Yuffie: Yeah, that's great now let's get outta here.

Tidus: Yeah. I'm leaving like right now.

( they go to turn around but there is a giant troll in the way)

Troll: You take me gold. Me take you life.

Everyone: Ahhhhhhh! (run away)

Troll: Come back now. Me no finish you.

Leon: (while running) Okay guys, we need a plan. Tifa, you think you can take?

Tifa: Are you kidding? Aint nobody that tough.

( They make it back to the canoes and get away)

Troll: No.

(The Runaways arrive)

Vincent: Yeah, we got it and not a troll in... (he looks up at it)

Troll: You take me treasure to.

Terra: Everyone! On the boat!

(Everyone gets in but Sephiroth)

Sephiroth: (To Troll) Boo.

Troll: Ahhhhh! (runs away)

Everyone: Yeah, go Sephiroth, ect.

( Back at the countries)

Mickey: And the Steamboat win. That means it's anybody one the Runaways tonight.

_(Eliminations)_

Mickey: You all cast your votes and you all had a lot of opinions here. So when I call your name, com and get a golden controller. To reprsent control and victory. First one is......... Terra........... Namine....... Sephiroth.......... Larxene......... Lulu........... Wakka.......... Ven......... Vincent......... Axel........ Aqua. Two of you remain. One controller remains. Seifer, you show plenty of phisical ineptitudes here. Selphie, you're just plain annoying. The final controler goes to.................................................................... Selphie.

Selphie: Eeeee!

Mickey: Siefer: You know what that means. Gotta take the boat ride home dude, but who cares right. You still get to go to Losers Les Resorto AND you have it all to yourself for the next three days. Talk about cool.

Siefer: Yeah, I guess. See you guys later. (walks away)

(after he leaves)

Axel: (whispering to Larxene) Yo, Larxene. You sure we should've voted him off. He looked pretty tough. I think you told us to vote for the wrong person.

Larxene: Oh no. He would've held us back. Trust me, I have a plan.


	2. Crouching Vincent, Hidden Yuna

Mickey: Last time on Total Action Kingdom, actually, so much had happened las time, it's almost too much. First we introduced our new members: Axel, Namine, Laxene, Terra, Ven, Auqa, Vincent, Seifer, Lulu, Selphie, Wakka, and Sephiroth. They all adjusted nicley and had a few rivalries with some campers. Axel and Roxas competed for Namine's heart, but it's was obvious that she a thing for the blonde. After lunch, we took our players to the Norawigan distric of the island for thier fist challenge. The Stamboats won and the Runaways had to vote someone off. Larxene knew of Selphie getting on everyone's nerves. Larxene couldn't let a member of her "alliance" go first so she tricked everyone to vote out Seifer. He will be missed. Time to see how the final 23 unfold in... TOTAL...ACTION...KINGDOM!

_(Theme Song)_

(The Runaway's district)

Laxene: Wakka!

Wakk: Yeah, mon.

Larxene: Go, to the U.S.A district and get me a soda.

Wakka: But it's 10 'o clock, mon.

Larxene: Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought that you WANTED to go tothe final three. I guess I was wrong.

Wakka:....... fine.

_(Confessional Stall)_

Larxene: So I guess I deserve the money since I totally conned these losers into doing what I say.

_(Competition)_

(Terra, Aqua, and ven are sitting together)

Terra: I like you guys.

Ven Same here.

Aqua: Yeah.

Terra: So I think we should, ya know... protect each other.

Aqua: Like an alliance?

Terra: Kinda... yeah.

Ven: Sounds

(Namine in sitting alone on the German gazeebo while Roxas sneaks in behind it)

Roxas: Psst, over here.

Namine: Hey, you. Why are you out so late.

Roxas: Well... I uhh just wanted to make sure you were OK. Since you fought off the troll ya know.

Namine: Well, it was no big deal. Ya know, you didn't go down to fast yourself.

Roxas: Thanks.

(They are about to kiss but just before thier lips meet, Axel shows up)

Axel: Sup guys.

Namine: Oh *blushes* nothing (runs away)

Roxas: Way to go, you jerk.

Axel: Hey, hey. Easy. I was just popping by. Any way why are you in our district.

Roxas:.... I got better things to do. (walks away)

Axel: I'm so gonna take that kid under my wing.

(The Steamboat's camp)

(Sora and Kairi are making out)

Sora: Don't you ever wonder who the other team voted off.

Kairi: Shut up and kiss me.

(They continue to make out)

(Leon is leaning against the boys cabin when Roxas walk in with Namine)

Roxas: No, you deserve better than a goth and a girl that can't shut up.

Namine: I'm glad you found me.

(They kiss and she walks in)

Leon: So... you hittin' that?

Roxas: Wha, no. She's not like that.

Leon: From that kiss, how can she not.

Roxas: Listen. Shut up. I really like her, don't ruin it for me.

Leon: You have my word. Besides, I wouldn't ruin a friends chance at a major babe. I'm just not that knid of guy.

Roxas: Really? Oh thanks, man. I owe ya.

Leon: Don't metion it.

(The next morning)

(Everyone is asleep when Mickey comes in with a helicopter and a megaphone)

Mickey: (in megaphone) Morning, players. Get ready in meet me in the Japanese distric in 10. See ya there. Haha.

Aerith: Ohh, it's 5 AM.

Sora: Tell me about it.

Kairi: (comes out from under his covers) Totally.

Aerith: Ahh!

Kairi: Relax.

Sora: Yeah, we just cuddled.

Aerith: Oh, phew.

(Japanese distict)

Mickey: (dresssed as a geisha) Oh, hewro, pwrayers. Time to go the chowenge now.

Leon: Doesn't that stirke you as a little racist.

Mickey: Dude. That's two time you just called me out.

Leon: Sorry, but I think that...

Lulu: So when's biker nerd gonna shut up. Cuase I really eant my munny.

Leon: Biker nerd!?

Mickey: Hehe, Good one. So today's challenge will take all day. You will into the baboo groves and camp there for the night. You must find your own food. Build your own shelter and avoid getting killed. Once again I drew a mad for each team. Hmmm... Terra, you're the captain of the Runaways...and uhhh, Cloud's the Steamboat's captain... Go!

(They run into the bamboo groves)

(The Steamboats)

Aerith: Anytihng new captain man.

Cloud: First stop, you're mouth.

(Him and Aerith make out)

Leon: Ok, by the looks of it, we're at our campsite. Sora, Kairi, and Auron get food. Riku, Tidus, and Tifa go get water and the rest of us will build the shelter.

Sora: Set Hut!

(The teams run into the bambo grove)

(The Runaways)

(Terra and Aqua are sitting in fron of a waterfall)

Terra: Okay... favorite movie?

Aqua: Well... you'll think it's stupid.

Terra: No, you can trust me.

Aqua: Well, I really liked Pretty Woman.

Terra: Oh, well. That's a good movie.

Aqua: Hehe, you're so gay. So... favorite color?

Terra: Dark green. Favorite season.

Aqua: Definatly winter.

Terra: No way, me too. Favorite... book.

Aqua: Easy. The book my favorite professor suggested for me, The Rain's Love.

Terra: Never heard of it.

Aqua: You wouldn't, he wrote it.

Terra: He sounds like a cool guy. Can I meet him.

Aqua: Uhh...

Terra: What's wrong.

Aqua: Noth, he just... passed away last year.

Terra: I'm so sorry. Is there any way I can make it up to you.

Aqua: No, it's not your fault. You didn't know.

Terra: Sorry.

(She kisses him)

Aqua: It's ok.

(The Runaway's camp)

(Everyone is bulding while Vincent is donig nothing)

Larxene: Would it kill you to do a little work Mr. Vampire.

Vincent: I don't do work. And I'm not a vampire.

Larxene: Uhrg.

(A helicpoter overhead with Mickey in it comes by)

Mickey: (in a megaphone) By the way, you'll each vote someone out. in the woods. Mouse Out!

(The Steamboat's camp)

Yuna: I beleive that the time will come that we will al be one ofthe true pack of life as we set out into the blistering wild that is each other. As we each have different abilities that make's us be one in the eyes of each other. That make's us impossible to be as of individual values to one another.

Leon: (rolls his eyes)

(Aerith and Cloud laugh)

(Eliminations for the Steamboats)

Mickey: You have all cast your votes and now I think that it is time to see who is really hated. The first controller goes to........... Sora.......... Leon .......... Tidus........... Kairi........... Aerith............ Cloud............Yuffie.......... Tifa........ Auron........ Roxas..........People this is the final controller and I'm not even going to puase because we all know that there is know way that Hottie McHot Guy the Dreamboat lost to Crazy Carzy Braod. So I guess you lose again Yuna.

Yuna: Huh? Wha?

Leon: You lost! Good bye! Again, don't come back.

Yuna: You guys really are mean.

Sora: Huh?

Yuna: Yeah. DOn't think that you're excluded from being the ones people hate just beacause you paint that stupid smile on your face. Everyone knows that you're all just playing it up so people wil like you, or you'll be famous. Everybody knows that no one will ever hear your name again after this is over. So if you all think that playing the fake happy, fun, nice guy... think again. Personally, you're all just as coniving as this one (Points to Leon).

Leon: Eh, I've been called worse.

Yuna: Yeah, it's true. I actually tihnk that this guy is the best player since he has no attempt of covering his selfish ways. Good bye, jerks. (walks away)

Sora: Yuna wait. (chases after her) I'm not pertending. I really do like you. I don't think anyone should try to ide who they are.

Yuna: Suuure. I know that you're just playing it up for the cameras. I'm LEAVING.

(She leaves on the boat)

(Eliminations for the Runaways)

Mickey: So here we go again. Ven, Axel, Larxene, Wakka, Selphie, Sephiroth, Aqua, Namine, Lulu, Terra, controllers for the lot of you.

Vincent: Hey, Mick. You forgot thier most important player... Me.

Mickey: Yeaha, no. Yeah, later.

Vincent: Whatever, losers. I don't even like you guys anyway.

* * *

Mickey: See, That's what I like in an episode. Short Sweet and full of hatred. Good night, everyone.

* * *

**Okay, I know I'm going to get so much hate from everyone because of Vincent. I actually wanted him to go far, but I already had a list planned out. And there was no room for him. Sorry.**


	3. A Test of Losers

Mickey: Last time on Total Action Kingdom, the teams went on a little hunting outting. That is if you consider hunting to be fighting with each other in the woods for six hours. So since no one can really win in a camping challenge, I just did what any bored host would do and kicked two members off the show... for good. Time drew to an end and Yuna ran her mouth again. While Vincent did absolutly no work for the Runaways. So those two were sent home just like any other dimwits who would ruin thier chance of 999999 munny. Now, who will go home, who will stay, and will I be a crappy fan fiction host fro a low rated reality show for the rest of my life. All these questions and more will be answered on TOTAL...ACTION...KINGDOM.

_(Theme song)_

Sora: So when did you decide to be a strong silent type.

Auron: I don't know.

Sora: I noticed it before when you were first on my team. You didn't talk to anybody.

Auron: I guess.

Sora: So where are we?

Auron: I... I don't know.

(The camera zooms out to reaveal that they walked into a forest in an unknown district)

Sora: Oh...

Auron: ...crap.

* * *

Leon: Anyone seen Sora or weirdo silent dude?

Aerith: No.

Leon: K.

* * *

(The Runaway's district)

Namine: Okay I'm at the border of Germany and Italy, so what now. Aww man, I can hardly read this secret love letter some guy wrote. Ahh!

(Someone pulls her into a bush and makes out with her)

Namine: WHO IS THIS!? (she sprays her violater with pepper spay)

Roxas: Ahh! Oww! (Comes out of the bush)

Namine: Oh my God, Roxas. Are you okay. I swear I didn't mean that.

Roxas: Ahh! No, I'm fine. The burn goes away.

Namine: I'm sorry.

Roxas: What the hell were you thinking?

Namine: I thought you were some molester.

Roxas: On a TV show?

Namnie: Well... (she kisses him) How about I clean you up and then we can finish what we were doing in the bush.

Roxas: Sounds good to me.

* * *

Ven: Terra, can I talk to you about something?

Terra: Sure, little man. What is it.

Ven: I knda like a girl here, but din't know how to tell her.

Terra; Wel well well.

Ven: Please keep this between you and me.

Terra: Sure. So, who is it?

Ven: *blushes* Lulu.

Terra: WHAAAA!? You mean gothic loony Lulu

Ven: Nevermind. See, she has this inner beauty that would be gorgeous to find. She also had a lot of rough times and I can relate.

Terra: Well, I've never judged. Goth chicks don't think the same as regular chicks. They think like they... how do goth chicks think?

Ven: I thought you would know.

Terra: A goth GUY would. But we just voted out McVampire. Damn.

Ven: Aqua.

Terra: AQUA? She's no goth bro.

Ven: I know, but she has dealt with death. Remeber she told you about her teacher who passed away.

Terra: Yeah, yeah. I'll go find her.

(Everyone is infront of Mickey at the docks)

Mickey: Okay, so today's challenge will... wait. We're missing a few. Where's Auron and Sora. Oh well. Sucks to be them 'cause this challenge will test you mind. Now usuall we like to do skill-based challenges. But we thought exposing you for the dimwit you are would be way more fun. Any one who answers a question right gets invincibility. Easy, right?

Everyone: yeah, yes, ect.

Mickey: WRONG! You'll be asked questions about the quantum threory of phisics. Everyone get to your podiums.

(At the podiums)

Mickey: Anyone can buzz in and answer. The fisrst one right, wins. First question: How many neutral atoms are in the common virus?

Everyone:............o_0

Mickey: Anyone?

Riku: Fine. I admit it. I majored in the physics threoy in high school. (he buzzes in) 27.

Mickey: Correct. Riku has one invincibility. You can get more and give them to people, but after 20 questions, the team with the most invinciblities win. If you go to eliminations you can use an invincibilty.

* * *

Sora: Aww, man. It's been hours and I don't know where I'm at.

* * *

Mickey: Okay. Her we go: How many particles do you need to form the smallest element?

Ven: (buzzes in) 1. Looks like pretty boy isn't the only one who took junior physics.

Lulu: Brains are so hot. (stares at Ven and he smiles back)

Mickey: So that's one for Ven and one for Riku. Next: How can light escape a black hole?

Riku: (buzzes) By uses the lightspeed theory to warp to another galaxy before the hole materializes.

Mickey: does a collied material neutralizer use to feed on?

Ven: (buzzes) Basic matter.

Mickey: Correct

(16 quesions later)

Mickey: So the scores 10-10. Time for sudden death. The fisrt one to answer right wins. How are two elements that make up the same parts to the sme matter different.

Riku: Uhh... umm.

Ven: (buzzes in) No two are alike.

Mikcey: Correct. So I guess the only two players that can get voted off tonight are Auron and Sora.

(Auron and Sora apper out of the bushes)

Sora: YES! We made it back.

_(Eliminations)_

Mickey: So after passing out all of the controllers, looks like Auron is out once again. Bue, dude.

(Auron leaves without saying a word)

**_

* * *

_**

**_The theory of physics is actually a subject I know quite well. All of these answers were actually right._**


	4. X treme Sky Diving

Mickey: Last time on Total Action Kingdom, we tested our remeaing players with a mind game. As it turns our, theres more to Riku that amazing looks. He's also a genious and kept his team alive because the storm Ven was equally smart. They battled for a while until one finally caved in. Riku did not know the asnwer to the final question. So The Runaways took home the victory. At eliminations the only two who didn't have immunity were Sora and Auron considering that they weren't even at the challenge. So the Steamboats gave silent Auron the boot instead of cool guy Sora. Stay tuned for the twist episode of TOTAL...ACTION...KINGDOM.

_(Theme Song)_

Kairi: So where were you and Auron?

Sora: We got lost in the woods. It turns out that there's no map in the Canadian distric.

Kairi: Ya know... adventure is kinda hot.

(They make out again)

Leon: Seriously! What is it with you two and making out?

Kairi: Well...

Sora: We... uhh.

* * *

Lulu: Hey. Aren't you that spazz who answered all of our questions for us?

Ven: Yeah. Why?

Lulu: That's hot.

Ven: *blushes*

(Selphie appears)

Selphie: Om my God, you guys are not going to believe that like that guy like totally won the challenge for us. I mean like seriously. So I was thinking if we like teamed up we could like totally kick butt.

Ven: Yeah... no.

Lulu: Never.

Selphie: Okay, that's uber cool.

(Selphie walks away)

Lulu: What was that all about.

Ven: *shrugs*

* * *

Larxene: Did they buy it?

Selphie: No, but they were like totally...

Larxene: I don't care, Selphie. All I need now is incomplete trust. Just so I can get far enough to make a name for myself.

Selphie: Okay?

Larxene: But, if you can get that trust for me, I'll take you to the final two instead of Wakka.

Selphie: Oh, oh. I wanna be in the final two.

Larxene: Good. But don't tell anyone.

Selphie: Oh, okay.

* * *

Roxas: Namine, I really like you, but things are getting in the way. I mean I can't win a challenge without worrying that you'll be the one to go.

Namine: I feel the same. Too bad there's nothing we can do.

_(Challenge)_

(The docks; everyone is facing Mickey)

Mickey: Everyone. Today is an important day in Total Drama Kingdom and Total Drama Action. This is twist so big that we had to make a challenge out of it. You will trade a player. Steamboats have one minute to decide who they want from the Runaways and the Runaways have one minute to decide to Steamboeter they want. Go!

(Roxas points to Namine and back to him to signal that she has to come to him, she nods in agreement)

(One minute later)

Mickey: Stamboats, who do you want?

Leon: Namine.

Mickey: Okay. Namine, over there. Runaways?

Larxene: Riku.

Riku: Ha-wha!?

Mickey: You heard her, Riku. You HAVE to go.

Riku: Aww man. (He hugs evryone and then walks over to the Runaways)

Mickey: Good, now that we settled that. I can pass out these. Quality team spirit stuff. Boys get bicept bands and girls get braclets. Here (he tosses them to the correct gender). Now your challenge is sort of a welcome for your new teammate. You'll have catch them. Yeah, that's right. We'll put each of the new members of your team in a plane that is 500 feet above the ground. They will each jump out at different points. You will each have a cot. You have to catch them on the cot of they, like, die, dude. So let's take you guys to the lab AND SEE WHAT YO MADE OF.

(In the airplane)

Riku: Mickey. I don't see the drop zone.

Mickey: Yeah, I'm suppsosed to push you out when I think your ready... (he pushes Riku). He'll be fine.

(On the ground)

Larxene: These damn cots weigh a ton.

(Riku falls to the groud leaving a crater shped like his body in the ground)

Axel: Oh shit.

(In the airplane)

Mickey: So that's how I rescued my wife for the 43rd time.

Namine: That was so cool. I think that (Mickey pushes her)...

Mickey: She'll be fine... I think.

(On the ground)

Leon: Okay, why can't we move this thing?

Sora: Tifa could actually do some work, we could win.

Tifa: Fine, (She picks up the cot and puts it right under Namine). Easy.

Mickey: Looks like the Steamboats win. Alrgiht!

Steamboats: Woohhoo, yeah, alright, ect.

* * *

Namine: It rocks that we're on the same team, right.

Roxas: Totally. I'm glad I talked to Leon a few days ago or else he would've never understood.

Namine: I know.

* * *

Laxene: What!?

Wakka: Sephiroth and Lulu really want to vote you off.

Larxene: Then I guess we have to make a plan.

_(Confessional Stall)_

Larxene: So I needed 6 votes for me to stay. Of couse me, Wakka, and Selphie wouldn't vote me off. That leaves Axel, the Dopplegangers, and Riku. I could easily bribe Axel. The three freaks won't vote for me if one suggests it. That leaves Riku, so I guess I'll have to visit to infirmory.

_(Competition)_

(The infirmory)

Larxene: Oh Riku.

Riku: Yeah?

Larxene: I think that you should really vote that guy Sephiroth off.

Riku: Really? Why?

Larxene: (Starts to cry fake tears) I-it's just that he's b-being really m-mean to me and those three friends. I j-just can't see him stay.

Riku: No no. It's okay. I'll talk to them. I'll do what I can do.

Larxene: Th-thanks. You're s-so nice.

(Eliminations)

Mickey: You all cast your votes and now it's controller time. First is........Riku ........ Terra........ Lulu........ Ven........ Axel....... .Aqua....... Selphie....... Wakka. There are two left. Laxene. Sephiroth. Now I just want you to know that I completely disagree with this, but................Sephiroth.

Lulu: What!?

Sephiroth: But I thought I had all six votes agains Larxene.

Larxene: Looks like you were wrong. Bye bye, traitor.

(Terra, Auqa, Ven, and Lulu roll thier eyes at her)


	5. Don't Leave me hangin'

Mickey: Last time on Total Action Kingdom, the teams traded players. Namine went to the Steamboats and Riku went to the Runaways. In addition, they each got team merchadise. Guys got bicept bands and girls got braclets that each said the team name. So now it was challenge time. Riku and Namine sky dived for thier teams and Riku wiped out BAD. While Namine's team was there for her and caught her. In a complete turn of events, Sephiroth got voted off because of Larxene's scheming. What will happen next on TOTAL...ACTION...KINGDOM?

_(Theme Song)_

Sora: It's a sucky competition.

Kairi: Yeah.

Yuffie: Yeah.

Aerith: But why him? Why Riku?

Cloud: Maybe it's 'cause he's like hot and athletic and stuff.

Leon: He's hydroginated enough that we can all fantasize about him and not be gay.

(Namine and Roxas show up)

Namine: Hey guys.

(Sora, Leon, Cloud, Aerith, and Yuffie glare at her)

Namine: What?

Roxas: I-I uh think that they're a little sour about you taking Riku's place.

Namine: Oh. Well, I can't bring him back. But I can be the best darn competitor I can be.

(They continue to glare)

Namine: Well... I-uhh.

Roxas: Babe, it's best to leave it go. They never learn.

(They continue to glare)

Roxas: Yeah, well, we're gonna go stand over there.

(They walk away)

Roxas: Don't worry about them. I'll make sure you don't go.

namine: Yeah, but this is a popularity contest right. I mean, they keep thier friends and vote everyone else off.

Roxas: Not if we win.

Namine: Oh you're good. (She kisses him).

* * *

Selphie: Oo! Can I touch your arms.

Riku: Haha, yeah. Sure.

(Larxene pulls her away)

Larxene: Selphie can I see you for a sec?

Selphie: Sure. (to Riku) Be right back hon. (They walk away) What is it?

Larxene: You can't like him.

Selphie: Why not?

Larxene: We're friends, right?

Selphie: Totally.

Larxene: Well, friends don't date boys thier friends like.

Selphie: Uhhh... Okay.

Larxene: Good, we need to stay focused. So go get me and Riku a drink.

Selphie: Uhh... Okay.

* * *

Mickey: Okay. I see that some of you are adjusting to your new teams. Now for the challenge. Once agian, you need to outlast everyone. Push yourself to the edge. Become the chalenge itself, thus be the challenge's master and experience the challenges total drive.

Leon: So why are we upside down.

(The players are being hung 50 feet in the air by their ankles)

Mickey: I dunno. The last one hanging wins for their team. See ya in an hour. (he leaves)

Leon: Great. This sucks.

Yuffie: It's not all bad.

Leon: Yeah, it is. I'm stuck on this crappy island for a whole other season, and one of my best friends just left.

Sora: Yeah, but wht about the 999,999 munny. That's gotta rock.

Leon: Nope. I gave it up last time. I might as well give up this time.

Aerith: No, don't you have to much to lose.

Tidus: Yeah. Why don't you get your head in the game.

Leon: Shut up.

* * *

  
Wakka: Da blood is rushin' to ma head, mon.

Selphie: i can stay here for live ever 'cuase I was like the champion upside-down girl in like forever. It was like so cool...

Lulu: No offense, crazy chick. But we all don't give a crap.

Selphie: That's cool. Like when I...

Lulu: I get it.

* * *

Terra: It could be worse.

Ven: How?

Terra: Well... there could be a pool of sharks be neath us. Yeah. Sharks.

Ven: You're an idiot.

Aqua: I think he's cute.

Terra: Aww, c'mere.

(Terra and Aqua try to swing their ropes and kiss but fail)

Terra: Yeah, it's bad.

Aqua: I got an idea. How about a word game like 20 Q.

Yuffie: Oh, I love 20 Q.

Aqua: Awesome. Me too. I'll go first. It's a person.

Sora: Male or female.

Aqua: Male.

Ven: Famous actor?

Aqua: Yeah.

Riku: Dead or Alive?

Aqua: Dead.

Cloud: Heath Ledger?

Aqua: YES!

Cloud: Alright. me next. Person.

Namine: Male or Female?

Cloud: Female.

Leon: Aerith?

Cloud: Yes, dude.

(Everyone laughs and the shaking makes who ever laughed's rope break)

Mickey: Oh, I forgot to say that these are super fragile ropes. Even shaking breaks them.

Tidus: So who didn't laugh.

(Tifa is still hanging)

Tifa: Wasn't funny.

Mickey: And the Steamboats win.

Steamboats: Woohoo, alright, yeah, yes, ect.

Mickey: Yup. That means the Runaways are going to the eliminations tonight.

Selphie: (Grabs Riku and kisses him)

Riku: What the hell.

Larxene: *gasps* how could you?

_(Eliminations)_

Mickey: You all cast you votes and made your desicions. Controllers to.........Riku, Larxene......... Wakka.......... Terra, Aqua, and Ven......... Lulu......... Axel. That leaves you Selphie. You didn't get a controller and you must leave.

Selphie: hey, we al gotta go some times right. Except if you win. Which is only one so what does that matter cause that's like one out of like 24 so I know...

Everyone: Leave.

(Confessional Stall)

Larxene: She shouldn't have kissed him. I warned her.


	6. Xemnas is a Bitch

Mickey:Last time on Total Action Kingdom, Things were tough for the Steamboats. They weren't taking Riku's leave so well. So they took it out on Namine. In the challenge, the Steamboats and the Runaways got along pretty well, but Tifa was the one who won. At eliminations, Larxene wanted revenge at Selphie for taking Riku from her. So it was Selphie who left. Welcome back to TOTAL...ACTION...KINGDOM.

_(Theme Song)_

Axel: I love this show!

Lulu: You seem excited. Why?

Axel: C'mon. I thought I'd slip up the first episode and get the boot. Now I've survived like a whole bunch of eliminations.

Lulu: Whatever... spazz.

(Ven walks up with some black flowers)

Ven: Some beautiful flowers for... a beautiful chick.

Lulu: You're so gay. But yeah, they're pretty.

(Ven blushes, but Lulu kisses him on the cheek)

* * *

  
Leon: Didn't you ever wonder what kind of people watch us, or what they think? I mean, we all do stuff we'll regret. So some pervert back at home is probably eating it up.

Yuffie: Yeah. I like to think the a cute guy is watching and wants me.

Leon: *Ahem*

Yuffie: I'm just kidding Lele. (She kisses him). Gotta go (she walks away).

Cloud: Nice. You got her hooked on you now, bro.

Leon: I know right. I'll just have to save her from one more elimination, and she'll be al mine.

Cloud: You're not gonna TRY to get her on the chopping block... are you?

Leon: It's the only way. Otherwise, she''ll never respect and love me.

Cloud: That's so stupid. Tell me how that goes once she dumps you. I gotta go meet Aeith at the Chinese district for lunch. See ya.

Leon: Bye.

* * *

(Sora and Kairi are infront of an eleborat fountain in the American district)

Kairi: You know what today is right?

Sora: Uhh... Pancake day at the breakfast bar.

Kairi: What? No, today's the anniversary of the episode we conviced our love.

Sora: Oh yeah. Well... I was just kiddin' around.

Kairi: hehe. It's okay. Well...

Sora: Well...

Kairi: You mean no kiss?

Sora: Oh right.

(They make out)

* * *

(The players are on the dock facing Mickey)

Axel: What is it, Mickey.

Mickey: Well... I like you guys and all, but...

Namine: What?

Mikcey: Well, my wife, Minnie, was nagging me last night. So we're going on a second honeymoon. I can't host for a few episodes so we got a few replacements. I'm sure the honeymoon can't take more that one or two episodes. So Meet Xemnas (Xemnas arrives on a boat) He'll be your host for this episode. You'll love it Xem.

Xemnas: **** you.

Mickey: Haha, you're such a jokester. Well... byegottago. (He runs to the boat as fast as he can).

Riku: So...

Xemnas: SO YOU'LL DO WHAT I SAY FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS, PUNK!

Riku: Uhh... okay.

Xemnas: That loser mouse may have let you do whatever you want. Now things go my way. You eat when I tell you to eat. You speak when I tell you to speak. You...

Terra: Uhh, Mr. Zexion...

Xemnas: YOU WILL CALL ME CAPTAIN SIR. Now for the stupid challenge.

Everyone: Yes Captain Sir.

* * *

Xemnas: You tired yet.

(Each team is holding on to a rope tied to a 100lbs. weight)

Everyone: No, Captain Sir.

Xemnas: Good, cause we're not leaving til one team drops out. And the last team standing wins.

Everyone: Yes, Captain Sir.

(One hour later)

Sora: I can't feel my arms.

Xemnas: DID YOU JUST SPEAK WITHOUT PERMISSION SOLDIER!?

Sora: Uhh...

Xemnas: "Uhh" is not the answer. 20 push-ups.

Sora: But then I'll have to let go of the rope.

Xemnas: GO!

(Sora does 20 push-ups)

Xemnas: Ny the way. If you let go. You can't grab on again. Bye bye, soldier.

(Sora walks away)

Xemnas: Now let's see who's the real tough guy.

Ven: Catain Sir...

Xemnas: What maggot!?

Ven: Can we please have some food. mickey at least brings us the sandwiches.

Xemnas: WHAT!? Well, do I look like Mouse? Do I have big ears? Do I star in cartoons?

Ven: Well...

Xemnas: ENOUGH! If you want food, I'll go get "food". Hehehe.

(Xemnas walks away)

Cloud: Man, I never thought I'd miss Mickey.

Leon: You said it.

Yuffie: Come to think of it, Mickey was pretty nice. Even though he, ya know, tortured us.

Riku: Compared to this guy, Mickey's a saint.

Lulu: I did kinda like the little guy.

Aqua: Yeah, I was excited to meet him, too.

Terra: But you guys make Mickey look like some terrible man one minute, than a hero the next.

Leon: Well, he was a cool guy for all the torture.

Aerith: Mickey liked us at the end.

Riku: I'm sure he still does.

Roxas: No offense to the newbies, but Mickey like us way more.

Namine: I noticed.

Xemnas: Okay, here's your gosh darn food! Now EAT!

(Xemnas throws slop on the player's faces)

Xemnas: you will lick the slop of your own fac if you are hungry enough.

(Sora walks by with a sandwich)

Sora: Hey guys. What's up?

Xemnas: Thank you, son! (He takes Sora's food) I been hungry all day!

Tifa: That's it! I had it! (She pushes everyone on her team and the block falls and she picks it up) Come here!

(She chases him with the block)

Aerith: Uhh, Tifa. You just made us lose.

Tifa: You're next, princess.

Ven: Wait, if they lost... then we won.

(They let go)

_(Eliminations)_

Xemnas: You all voted. Now I don't care what Mouse does! I do it how I want to do it. Tifa, you got voted off. Her everyon catch their controllers. Tifa, GET OUT! But first, I thought you were a tough player...

Tifa: OH SHUT IT! I don't even care anymore. You all can suck it.

Sora: What's her problem.


	7. Emo Challenges

Zexion: Last time on Total Stupid Kingdom, the idiots did some stupid stuff. Then some Xemnas guy came. The Runaways won and Tifa got voted off. Blah blah blah. That's right, I'm doing the recap. Becasue I was hired for this episode. If you have a problem with it just suck my...

_(Theme Song)_

Lulu: So, I think I... I...

Ven: What is it?

Lulu: I... I... (She makes out with him for a little then lets go) *pant*

Ven: *pant* What was that?

Lulu: Did I do something wrong?

Ven: No... you did everything right.

Lulu: Good

* * *

Sora: Okay, bye. (He kisses Kairi and she leaves)

Leon: Dude, she has you whipped.

Sora: She does not.

Cloud: She so does.

Sora: No way. She loves me.

Leon: Yeah, when you on the leash.

Cloud: All you can do now is get to the end and bark.

Sora: Shut up! It's not like that... is it?

* * *

Loudspeaker: Go to the docks for the next challenge or whatever.

Wakka: What's up wit de emo host, mon.

Aerith: Probably another fill-in.

* * *

(The players are facing Zexion)

Zexion: Mickey said that the challenge is to eat and not barf or something. Well, that's for pussies. Time for my challenge. Each of you cut your wrists, whoever goes the deepest wins.

Ven: Uhh, that's a little unethical.

Zexion: Well, I'm not the only one who can read. I bet any of you brain dead losers would have done just for the money. Well, I guess you have to do what the owner of the show, Scrooge McDuck, says we gotta do. Besideds, his name more like, Screwed TheDuck. I saw that old perv with two Vietnamese prostitutes in his office.

Terra: Uhh, okay.

Zexion: (On his BlueTooth) Whatever. He says that the rules of the game are simple. So even brain-dead skeezes like you could do it. It's one of my suggestions. You each wrote down your worst fear in your applications. So now I'm gonna make you face them. Sora, Leon, and Ven are all afraid of the dark. Terra, Tidus, Lulu, and Larxene are all afraid of snakes. Wakka nad Cloud are afraid of heights...(he reads the rest). You score a point for your team if you face your fear. Well, let's go. Or at least Mickey would say something like that.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Zexion: The score is 5-4, favoring the Steamboats. So I guess that's everyone but one person. Ven. Ven, your afaid of Sean Connery. Time to face him, bro.

Leon: Haha, seriously? Sean Connery.

Lulu: Shut up! Don't make fun of him. Sean Connery can be scary.

Ven: (His face is red) No, it's okay. See, one time when I was little, I had a nightmare...

_(Ven's flashback)_

_Ven: So I wake up. I try to find my mom and dad, cause I was scared right. So I go out to the kitchen. No mom, no dad. So I check the rec room. No parents there either. I go to look at my dad's work calendar. I found out that he was working late. He wouldn't be home for another two hours. Then, I saw it. There was a faint light coming from my mom's room. I knew she had to be there. So I checked it. The door was shut, but I could hear her. I heard another man's voice, too, with a lot of shaking. So I open the door. And then, I saw it..._

_(Competition)_

Ven: Eee! It's to horrible.

Lulu: Ven, I'm here for you. You can finish.

Ven: Okay, but just for you. I open the door and I see Sean Connery naked on top of my mom. I screamed like heck. See, I was only little, so when I saw a big fat man on top of my mom and she was moaning and screaming. I thought he was hurting her. So I ran. I never told anyone. It was only till I was 8 that I knew what they were really doing. That's when my parents split. So now I go back and forth between their houses and it's all that bastard Sean Connery's fault. If I win this show, I'll sue him for all he's worth.

Lulu: Aww, that's so sweet.

Zexion: Yeah, sweet sweet. Whatever. if you can go up to Sean Connery and give him a hug, you win for your team. If you don't, you lose. And you team will hate you.

Ven: WHAT!? I can't even look at the vile man.

Zexion: That's what I thought. So the Steamboats win.

Steambots: (Cheering)

Lulu: It's okay, baby. You did your best.

Ven: It' so bad. I can't get the picture out of my head.

Lulu: Aww, is there anything I can do?

Ven: No, I'm good.

Lulu: I'll let you grab my butt for a minute.

Ven: No, I just want to be left alone right now. (He sulks away)

_(Eliminations)_

Zexion: Wow, you guys suck. I mean the Steamboats are like WAY ahead. There is no way you can catch up, now. i'd just wait til the merge if I were you. Anyway, Terra, Aqua, Laxene, Axel, Riku, and Wakka come get a controller. So that leave the two lover birds. Lulu and Ven. Who's it gonna be.................................................................................... Ven.

Van: What!? How could I stay and her go. I messed up not her.

Zexion: Haha. I was just kidding. Ven it was you.

Ven:..... o_0.

Lulu: Oh, I'm so sorry. I just want you to know that I didn't vote for you.

Ven: It's okay, we're still cool, right.

Lulu: Always.

(They kiss for a lenght of time before Zexion drags Ven away)

Zexion: I kinda like this job. (he throws Ven on the boat)


	8. Dare or Die

Ansem the Wise: Last time on Total Action Kingdom, Zexion came in as a substitute host. he did fairly well, besides the fact that he did horrendous. Lulu and Ven strengthened their relationship while Sora and Kairi strained theirs. Zexion did't feel fond of the planned challenge so he made his own. The producers rejected it, so Zexion thuoght of another. The players had to face their worst fears. Ven told a sob story of his childhood trauma. These memories left him unable to do the challenge, so he lost it all for his team. The team took revenge and voted him out. And Lulu gave him one last hot kiss. Stay tuned on TOTAL...ACTION...KINGDOM.

_(Theme Song)_

Namine: Girl, you got to get over Ven. He's getting in the way of your competition.

Lulu: I just don't know if I can go on.

Namine: Yes you can. Ven would want you to win. Besides, he's in a better place now. The resort looks nice.

Lulu: Yes, but hes there with other woman. Beautiful woman.

Namine: Ven would never do that to you. He's a nice guy.

Lulu: That's why I miss him so much.

* * *

  
Sora: Kairi, you don't think I'm whipped, do you?

Kairi: Of couse not, silly. Now go get me a snack.

Sora: Yes, ma'am.

* * *

Aerith: Cloud, do you think I'm fat.

Cloud: o_0

Leon: (Whispering to Cloud) Don't answer. It's a trick question, dude.

Cloud: (Whispering to Leon) I'm just gonna tel the truth.

Leon: (Whispering to Cloud) No.

Cloud: No, you're no.

Aerith: Are you lying. You're lying. How could you lie to me.

Leon: Told ya.

* * *

Axel: So, where should we go to eat, dude?

Wakka: I son't know, mon. Let's try de ol Fench place, mon.

Tidus: No, I tried that place. The deserts kick ass, but the overall meals suck.

Axel: Well, I'm starved.

Tidus: Let's just get three tacos to go from the Mexican distict.

Wakka: Sounds good, mon.

* * *

(All of the players are on the docks facing Ansem the Wise)

Ansem: Good day, ladies and gantlemen. I'll be Mickey's fill-in.

Leon: So we got the priest for a host. I think he may be worse that Sargent Upthight and Emo.

Ansem: Well, I can't fix that. But, Nelson called, they want their hair back.

Ecveryone: Oooo.

Leon: Nice. I like this dude.

Ansem: And I like you guys, too. It almost pains me to make you suffer in the Survival of the Desperates.

Aerith: Desperates?

Ansem: Yes. The challenge today is the Survival of the Desperate. You must do any fans dare. No matter how humiliating, embarassing, or degrading. We will see which team is more desperte for the 999,999 munny. The fans will write their dare on these little index cards. If you complete the dare, you get a point. If you refuse to do the dare, you lose a point. The first team to 5 points wins.

Cloud: That's sounds REALLY unethical.

Ansem: Actually by congress law, section 6.79: media, part 5: television, line 64.1: labor. Truly states that any infatality harmfulness is allowed to be preformed by untrained actors.

Cloud: Wow. You really know your stuff.

Ansem: You don't know the half of it. So if we get to the Great Britains districts stage, we can start.

(At the stage)

Ansem: The first dare is for the Runaways. People want to see Axel do a strip tease. I geuss there are some lifeless fangirls out there.

Axel: No prob, Ansem. (Completes the dare).

Ansem: Wow. If there was a list of things I did not need to see... that would rank high. Well, The next dare is for the Steamboats. Fans want to see Roxas and Namine... have sex.

Roxas: What?

Namine: No way. That is a total invasion of privacy. It's not even allowed on television.

Ansem: Well, by media law, we cannot show it. So we can get a private room with cameras to make sure that you do it. But the tape won't be shown.

Roxas: What do you think, Namine?

Namine: Are you kidding? No, I would never haev sex for money.

Roxas: Good. 'Cause neither will I.

Ansem: I can't blame you. A dare like that is competely unessicary. Now the score is 1 to -1. The next dare is for the Runaways. Fans want to see Lulu flash the camera. Oh c'mon. What kind of pervert thinks of these. I'm going thourgh the pile to see if there are anymore dares that go beyond the line.

Lulu: Good, 'cause I won't do it. Not when my man is away.

Ansem: Well, I can only respect you for that decision. But unfortunatly we have to deduct a point. Being that, the score has become 0 to -1. Now the next dare is for the Steamboats. Fans want to see Leon apologize for all of the people he was respoinsible for having been voted off. Seeing to he has the most on his record. I have no choice but to not remove the card from the pile.

Leon: Fine, everyone I'm s-ss-ss-ss-s-sss-s-s-s-sss...

Yuffie: C'mon, you can do it.

Leon: I'm s-sss-sor-sor-sorr-r-ry.

Yuffie: HE SAID IT! I'm so proud of you, Leon. (She kisses him)

Ansem: Ansem: Well done, boy. That makes the score 0 to 0

(17 dares later)

Ansem: And we have reached a winner. The score is 5 points Runaways and 4 points Steamboats. Unfortunately, I will have to see the steamboats tonight at eliminations.

_(Eliminations)_

_A_nsem: We have come down to a final two. Yuffie and Namine. You both fought hard but only one can stay. The person who is going to the next week is...

Namine: It's cool. I had fun.

Ansem: Yeah, but the last vote wasn't for you.

Yuffie: Huh?

Ansem: Yes yes. Yuffie is the one ot go home.

Yuffie: WHAT? You picked newbie over me. I'm not through with you! I'm not done!

_(Confessional Stall)_

_Leon: I had enough luck with the ladies. So when I saw my man Roxas drown with them, I had to help him out. I have a feeling that Roxas is gonna get lucky this competition._

_(Competition)_


	9. Hoccersketfoot ball

Mickey: Last time on Total Action Kingdom, the players each had their own story to tell as they sat around the World Showcase. As a replacement, I picked Ansem the Wise. He was a large hit with the players for his intleigence and philosiphy. In the challenge, the players had to preform fan dares. We found out that some were pervs and some were just gross. Namine and Roxas strenghtened their relationship when they refused to have sex. Leon gained trust when he apologized on live national television. The Runaways preformed more dares than the Steamboats and won the challenge. At eliminaitons, Yuffie went home for being annoying. Who will be next on TOTAL...ACTION...KINGDOM!

_(Theme Song)_

Sora: I hope Mickey's back.

Riku: Yeah. Me too. I mean Ansem was cool, but no one understands us like Mickey.

Axel: It's like he's one of us now.

Roxas: Yeah, except he doesn't have to put up with us and he gets paid and never has to be voted off and gets pampered in his trailer and...

Aerith: We get it.

Namine: I miss his laugh.

Leon: I miss the dramatic pause he used to put in front of everry elimination.

Cloud: I miss the way he used to stick his foot out when the producer walked by and made him trip and then laighed and took a rock out of his pocket that he planned on putting there and stuck it where his foot was and said the he tripped on the rock and then the producer would get mad and storm away and put the fake rain on, but the rain was a small price to pay for seeing him trip.

Aerith: I miss how he'd make us shut up before we rambled.... Cloud.

Loud Speaker: Hola players. How're my favorite contestants? Meet up at the Chow House for some grub at 4 p.m. Adios.

Sora: Was that... it sounded like...

Kairi: It was...

All: MICKEY!

* * *

(At the cafateria)

Mickey: Hey guys. Haven't seen you in a while. I watched the episodes and I think you all did great. I mean, I always knew Roxas and Namine had a thing going. We can call them... Roxamine

(All chuckle and Roxas and Namine blush)

Mickey: I also knew Leon had some good in his heart while Cloud was really a rambling idiot.

(All chuckle)

Mickey: And Larxene was a coniving bitch and Lulu was likin' the Venster. Anyway There's a new challenge. The Ultimate Hoc-cer-sket-foot-ball showdown.

Leon: What's Hoc-cer-sket-foot-ball?

Mickey: Good question my boy. Hoc-cer-sket-foot-ball is a sport play on a field and you toss a big hockey puck into goals while you tackle each other.

Terra: Uhh, that's a little complicated.

Mickey: Liike any sport it gets simpler with experience.

Sora: I hope.

(The field)

Mickey: It all starts by using a 4-4-3 set up. First to 5 wins. Ready... set... GO! Oh and Roxas has the puck early, makes the pass to Leon, Leon looks for an opening, he sees Cloud open. Cloud gets covered by Lulu. Leon hands it off to Auron. Auron takes the run. He passes. Namine recieves. Namine takes it back to Aerith. She hands ir to Kairi. Kairi makes to pass to Sora and OH! Intrception by Riku. Riku passes to Larxene. Laxene runs and hands it to Axel. Axel throws fast to Lulu, but it is picked off by s double team with Leon and Cloud. Cloud runs. He's almost there. He gets covered, passes to Aerith and... and... Score! That's 1 to zip. Terra passes it to Aqua. Cloud's about to tackle Aqua. Oh no, blocked by Terra. Terra takes the fumble. Runs it in for a point. The Runaways are on the board!

(30 minutes later)

Mickey: With a Runaway win. TRhe Steamboats lose 4-5. See you at the eliminations, guys. Haha.

(Eliminations)

Mickey: You have all voted and the votes have been tallied. First is.................................. ............Sora...............

.........................Leon........................................Kairi.......................................................................oh who cares. Does anyone really red this or do they just skip to the end. Eh screw it. The onw who's leaving is Cloud.

Cloud: What? Me? But how?

Roxas: Well, to be honest, you're kinda not a threat to the other team right now.

Sora: Yeah, and you will be at the merge.

Mickey: Sorry, it wasn't my call. If it was, you'd win.

Cloud: Why?

Mickey: I had $20 on you. Son of a bitch, this is the second time I lost the bets.

Leon: Wait, you bet on who's gonna win?

Mickey: Yeah the whole production team does. Rick the executive has $55 on Terra, The Producer has $100 on Leon. Donald has $25 on Larxene and Pete the chef has $5 on Sora.

Aerith: So all of this is just some sick gamble for you.

Mickey: Pretty much, yeah. In fact, the sponser coordinator has $40 on you and $10 on Kairi.

Aerith: Really? They think I'll win.

Mickey: Yup, but a lot of people had money on Sora.

Sora: Cool, but... why?

Mickey: You're smart, and cool and don't have any enimies. If you lose $275 will be lost.

Sora: Awesome.

* * *

  
Mickey: Anywho, I also had $50 on Namine. But don't tell anyone. See ya next time, folks.


	10. Exodus

Mickey: Last time on Total Action Kingdom, Everyone talked about how they missed me. Mickey W. Mouse, thier favorite host. I always knew they loved me...

Sora: Hey let's not take it too far.

Mickey: What the? How did you guys get into the recording room?

Terra: It's pretty easy.

Leon: Yeah you don't lock any doors in this place.

Mickey: So what do you want?

Roxas: Well.. ya see...

Namine: We're all out of kanoles and we wanted to know if we could use the production crew's pastries.

Mickey: Whatever just go.

Riku: And we want to know who's the favorite.

Mickey: Huh?

Riku: The fan favorite. Who is it?

Mickey: Last week it was Roxas...

Roxas: Yes!

Mickey: Okay now will you all leave. We need to watch...

Everyone: TOTAL ACTION KINGDOM!

(Theme Song)

* * *

Riku: Larxene? You got a minute?

Larxene: Anything for you Riku.

Riku: Uh... ok. Well I need your promise that you'll throw today's challenge.

Laxene: What!?

Riku: I know it's a long shot, but they are my friends and they need to see the merge. I trust them.

Larxene: Where is this coming from.

Riku: a few hours ago I saw the plan sheet and once we get to the merge, we'll be able to vote a player from each team back. If I leave, then two steamboats can come back.

Larxene: And why are you telling me.

Riku: You're the most persuasive. You can get me out and back.

Larxene: If I want too.

Riku: That's a risk I'll just have to take.

* * *

Kairi: Sora, am I fat?

Sora: What?! No! Of course not.

Kairi: Don't lie to me!

Sora: Huh, I wasn't lying

Kairi: Whatever. I'm going for a walk.

Leon: Dude, you just fought a battle you can't win.

Sora: What do you mean. I told the truth.

Leon: Yeah, but not in her mind. I'm sorry, but Kairi is one of those girls who's mind does gymnastics to work around the truth. So...

Sora: Leon, let me stop you right there. Bro, I love ya, but you're not the best guy to go to for romantic advice.

Leon: What? I'm totally romantic.

Sora: So why'd you vote off Yuffie for another guy's sake?

Leon: ......................................... o_0. Point taken.

* * *

Terra: Axel, Have you ever...

Axel: Hold on. Aqua how's it been?

(Axel and Aqua walk off together)

Riku: Dude I can see the rage inside you.

Axel: What? No I'm not mad.

Riku: So if I went up to Aqua right now and asked her for a small meaningless kiss, which she no doubt agree to, you wouldn't skip a blink.

Terra: (stands up and grabs Riku by the collar) Don't even think about it.

Riku: See. I told you.

Terra: (sets Riku down) Okay, maybe a little.

* * *

Roxas: Namine, I can't help but feel the need to tell you all my feelings toward you.

Namine: Go ahead Roxas. Please.

Roxas: Okay, well...

Loudspeaker: Hey, guys. I hope no one was about to say anything important. Because we're ready for you at the docks.

* * *

(The docks)

Mickey: Aloha! This is the ultimate Hawian cook-off. We have provided a pig and all the spices for you. All you have to do is cook it. I'll be the judge. Who ever's is the best wins. It's that simple. Each team must make a pig roast and three sides. Both teams also need a ...

(The Steamboats huddle)

Aerith: I'll do it.

Mickey: Great. Runaways...

Larxene: Me! Of coarse.

Riku: We didn't even huddle.

Larxene: So, I'm the only one here who has any talent.

(Confessional Stall)

Riku: Okay, I wanted to throw this challenge to save the Steamboats from losing a player in the merge, but now I'm throwing it to get Larxene out of here. I mean, she's so bitchy.

(Challenge)

(Steamboats)

Aerith: Leon, you take Sora and skewer the pig over the fire. Then cook it. Namine and Roxas, you make the soup and salad. Tidus, me and you are going to make the rest of the sides, then we spice the pig. Break!

Aerith: Alright Tidus, we have few objects, but...

Tidus: A cake.

Aerith: That's brilliant, wait! This is like the first time you talked this whole season.

Tidus: Yeah I seem to blend in.

Aerith: Well you do a good job. I totally forgot all about you.

Tidus: Thanks.

(The Runaways)

Riku: Okay, guys. We're one person behind, but we can do this.

Larxene: Who made you captain.

Riku: A Hell of a lot more people than you. Besides, I've already been in a challenge sorta like this.

Larxene: Who cares.

Terra: Ya know Larxene, you're really mean.

Aqua: Yeah. You got rid of Sephiroth. He was our only chance of winning anything and you voted him off just because he didn't like you.

Riku: You better hope we win this. Because if we lose, I'm sure it's a majority that you'll go home.

Larxene: If I could get Sephiroth out, I can get you out.

Riku: Too bad your two lapdogs went home... becasause of you.

Larxene: Don't complain to me. Two of you here voted for Sephiroth, too.

Aqua: Yeah, and I'm pretty sure that what you did was the highest form of bribery.

Larxene: Just playing the game.

Lulu: Yeah, but not in the it was meant to be played. Just kicking out anyone in your way isn't going to get you to win.

Axel: Can't we just get along and do something. I mean look at the other team. They're flawless.

Riku: Yeah, they are. And I would be on that team if I hadn't come here.

Larxene: Well maybe you should just go.

Riku: Fine, I will. Anyone with me.

(Everyone but Larxene goes over to help the Steamboats)

Larxene: Fine! I don't need you anyway!

Mickey: Woah, the Runaway's lose by default.

Riku: You mean Larxene loses. We're all steamboats now.

Ex-Runaway's: Yeah!

Mickey: Well, technically, no. We never suspected this so I don't know.

Terra: Kicking off the last remaining member of a team sounds like a good idea.

Mickey: Well, since I'm lazy and hate everyone on the crew I guess that'll have to do. Bye Larxene.

Larxene: What! You can't do this. This is wrongful termination.....

Mickey: (While Larxene is screaming) Well, that unfolded rather odd, but better luck to all of you. Night viewers.


	11. Total Drama Idol

Mickey: Last time on Total Action Kingdom, The Steamboats were getting along better than ever, unfortunatly the same can't be said for our Runaways. The constant fighting was finally enough for Riku who moved back to the Steamboats where, let's all face it, he belongs. While he left, all of the other Larxene haters moved too. In the end, Larxene left. With a merge coming and the biggest shocker of the season here, what'll happen this week on TOTAL... ACTION... KINGDOM!

(theme song)

Mickey: Morning, players. Good news, this week is the merge. And two fan-favorites will be returning. Well I guess we better get to it. the first favorite is...................... Ven.

Ven: (walks off of the boat) Hey, guys. It's been a while.

Lulu: Ven! (She runs up and hugs him)

mickey: Cool. The comeback for the Steamboats is..............Cloud!

Cloud: Wow, never thought I'd see this place again.

(Leon, Sora, Riku, Roxas, and Aerith run up and hug Cloud)

Leon: We missed you buddy!

Cloud: Yeah. I still don't get why I left in the first place.

Leon, Sora, Riku, Roxas, and Aerith: ...................o_0

Cloud: Eh, it doesn't matter. Auron and I had fun learning how to play Lick-scoth from Yuna.

Aerith: Licker-scoth?

Cloud: Yeah it's real fun. Yuna made it up.

Aerith: Oh now I see.

Mickey: Yaeh I'm glad you're all happy now, but unfortunately this week two people have to go. One from the Steamboats and one from the Runaways. However, since there are no teams, single person immunity will still be active. Wanna hear what you'l have to do?

Everyone: Yeah!

Mickey: Due to popular request, you know who you are, this week is Total Action Idol.

Aqua: Oh, like American Idol, or Britain Idol, or any other counrty Idol.

Mickey: Yeah, so it's a singing contest! Meet me in the auditorium in 5 with you're own song choice.

(The 15 competitors arrive at the auditorium)

Mickey: Let's meet our judges. First is the producion scientist, Hojo.

Hojo: What the? A talking mouse. How ridiculous is this?

Mickey: Well you aint no prize either. Anyway, next is our very own cutie, Rinoa.

Rinoa: Thanks, it's an honor to be here.

Mickey: Fabulous, and last is the best. Me! So let's start off with our very own pretty boy..... Riku!

Riku: (I'm Too Sexy as made famous by Right Said Fred)  
I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts  
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan  
New York and Japan  
And I'm too sexy for your party  
Too sexy for your party  
No way I'm disco dancing  
I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I do my little turn on the catwalk

Hojo: In terms or singing. Fantastic

Rinoa: Woohoo. you are too sexy, brother.

Mickey: Blah blah blah. That's all i have to say. Next... Sora.

Sora: (Shake It as made famous by Metro City)  
I'll take you home  
If you don't leave me at the front door  
(Leave me at the front door)  
Your body's cold  
But girl, we're gettin' so warm  
And I was thinking of ways  
That I could get inside  
(Get inside)

Tonight you're falling in love  
Let me go now  
This feeling's tearing me up  
Here we go now

Now if she does it like this  
Will you do it like that?  
Now if she touches like this  
Will you touch her like that?  
Now if she moves like this  
Will you move her like that?  
Come on, shake, shake  
Shake, shake, Shake It

Hojo: You're blinding me with science, boy.

Rinoa: That's a winner.

Mickey: Blaaaaaaah, Next... Leon.

Leon: (Hero as made famous by Enrique Iglesias)  
I can be your hero, baby.  
I can kis away the pain.  
I will stand by you forever.  
You can take my breath away.

Oh, I just wanna to hold you.  
I just wanna to hold you.  
Oh yeah.  
Am I in too deep?  
Have I lost my mind?  
Well I dont care...  
Youre here, tonight.

Hojo: you are a hero

Rinoa: And a cute on. Call me.

Mickey: Ah blah blah. Aerith.

Aerith: (My Milkshake as made famous by Kelis)  
My Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,  
And their like "It's better than yours"  
Damn right, It's better than yours,  
I can teach you, but I have to charge

I know you want it...  
The thing that makes me,  
What the guys go crazy for,  
They lose their minds, The way I wind,  
I think it's time...

Hojo: o_0

Rinoa: o_0

Mickey: Hot. Next up... Roxas.

Roxas: (White and Nerdy as made famous by Weird Al)

They see me mowin' my front lawn  
I know they're all thinkin' I'm so  
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy  
Think I'm just too white and nerdy  
Can't you see I'm white and nerdy  
Look at me I'm white and nerdy

I wanna roll with the gangstas  
But so far they all think I'm too  
White and nerdy

Hojo: Oh good, I thought I was the only one.

Rinoa: Oh, C'mon you're not nerdy, but you are white.

Roxas: Oh c'mon G. I sayin thats I

Rinoa: No!

Mickey: Blaaaaah Blah. Next is Axel.

Axel: (You Spin Me Round as made famous by Dope)  
You spin me right round, baby  
Right round like a record, baby  
Right round, round, round  
You spin me right round, baby  
Right round like a record, baby  
Right round, round, round

If I, I get to know your name  
Well if I, could trace your private number, baby

All I know is that to me  
You look like you're lots of fun  
Open up your lovin' arms  
I want some, want some

You spin me right round, baby  
Right round like a record, baby  
Right round, round, round  
You spin me right round, baby  
Right round like a record, baby  
Right round, round, round

Hojo: Boring.

Rinoa: Classless

Mickey: Woo Blaaaaaaaah. Next is Namine.

Namine: (I Wanna Dance With Somebody as made famous by Whitney Housten)  
Ive been in love and lost my senses  
Spinning through the town  
Soon or later the fever ends  
And I wind up feeling down  
I need a man who'll take a chance  
On a love that burns hot enough to last  
So when the night falls  
My lonely heart calls

Oh I wanna dance with somebody  
I wanna feel the heat with somebody  
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody  
With somebody who loves me  
Oh I wanna dance with somebody  
I wanna feel the heat  
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody  
With somebody who loves me

Hojo: Over all, okay.

Rinoa: Yeah, I agree with white and nerdy.

Mickey: Blue blah blaaaaaaah. Terra, you're up.

Terra: (One Last Breath as made Famous by Creed)  
Please come now I think I'm falling  
I'm holding on to all I think is safe  
It seems I found the road to nowhere  
And I'm trying to escape  
I yelled back when I heard thunder  
But I'm down to one last breath  
And with it let me say  
Let me say

Hold me now  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
That maybe six feet  
Ain't so far down

I'm looking down now that it's over  
Reflecting on all of my mistakes  
I thought I found the road to somewhere  
Somewhere in His grace  
I cried out heaven save me  
But I'm down to one last breath  
And with it let me say  
Let me say

Hold me now  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
That maybe six feet  
Ain't so far down

Hold me now  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
That maybe six feet  
Ain't so far down

I'm so far down

Sad eyes follow me  
But I still believe there's something left for me  
So please come stay with me  
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me  
For you and me  
For you and me

Hold me now  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking (thinking)

Hold me now  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
That maybe six feet  
Ain't so far down

Hold me now  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
That maybe six feet  
Ain't so far down

Please come now I think I'm falling  
I'm holding on to all I think is safe

(Everyone's jaw drops because it sounds just like the original)

Mickey: A-a-a-a-a-Aqua... next.

Aqua: (Jai Ho as made famous by The Pussy Cat Dolls and A.R. Rahman)  
I got (I got) fever (fever),  
Running like a fire,  
For you I will go all the way,  
I wanna take you higher (Jai Ho)

I keep it steady uh-steady,  
That's how I do it.

Jai Ho

This beat is heavy, so heavy,  
You gonna feel it.

(Jai Ho) You are the reason that I breathe,  
(Jai Ho) You are the reason that I still believe,  
(Jai Ho) You are my destiny,  
Jai Oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh!

Hoj: Sexy. Classy.

Rinoa: Perfect.

Mickey: Blaaaaaaah Blue Blaaaaaah. Kairi.

Kairi: (I Need a Hero as made famous by Bonnie Tyler)  
Where have all the good men gone  
And where are all the gods?  
Where's the street-wise Hercules  
To fight the rising odds?  
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?  
Late at night I toss and turn and dream  
of what I need

I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life

Hojo: You certainly did.

Rinoa: We igrls always do.

Micky: Blaaah Blaaah Blue Blaah. Tidus.

Tidus: (Iris as made famouse by the Goo Goo Dolls)  
And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
'Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

Hojo: Perfetion.

Rinoa: So Romantic.

Mickey: Blue Blaaaa-

Rinoa: Stop that.

Mickey: Sorry. Lulu, up next.

Lulu: (My Life Would Suck Without You as made famous by Kelly Clarkson)  
Guess this means you're sorry  
You're standing at my door  
Guess this means you take back  
All you said before  
Like how much you wanted  
Anyone but me  
Said you'd never come back  
But here you are again

Cause we belong together now, yeah  
Forever united here somehow, yeah  
You got a piece of me  
And honestly  
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you

Hojo: Well it doesn't have to. Call me.

Rinoa: you go girl.

Mickey: Blaaaaah Blue. Cloud, go.

Cloud: (Dust in the Wind as made famous by Kansas)  
I close my eyes  
Only for a moment and the moment's gone  
All my dreams  
Flash before my eyes of curiosity

Dust in the wind  
All they are is dust in the wind

Same old song  
Just a drop of water in an endless sea  
All we do  
Crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind  
All we are is dust in the wind

Now  
Don't hang on  
Nothing lasts forever but the Earth and Sky  
It slips away  
And all your money won't another minute buy

Dust in the wind  
All we are is dust in the wind  
Dust in the wind  
Everything is dust in the wind

Hojo: wel, my long detailed opinion is that-

Mickey: BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hojo: What is wrong with you.

Mickey: I'm a cartoon, what did you expect. Ven's next by the way.

Ven: (Everything I Do, I Do it for You as made famous by Bryan Adams)  
Look into my eyes - you will see  
What you mean to me  
Search your heart - search your soul  
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for  
You know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you

Look into your heart - you will find  
There's nothin' there to hide  
Take me as I am - take my life  
I would give it all - I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for  
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more  
You know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you

Hojo: Amazing.

Rinoa: Fantastic.

Mickey: Blah. So I guess thats it. The judges and I will see who goes.

(Two hours later)

Mickey: Okay the judgfes have decided who's leaving. Rinoa would you say the Steamboat who's leaving?

Rinoa: Certainly, I'm sorry to say this, but it's Tidus.

Hojo: You did great, but not good enough. And the Runaway whom lost, Axel.

Rinoa: You just didn't deliver.

Axel: Eh, it's cool. See you guys at the finale.

Tidus: And Yuna, I'm coming.

Mickey: Well now that that's out of th eway, let's boogie.

(they start to dance to disco and party)

Hojo: Wait! This doesn't make sense. Why would we party at a time like this.

Mickey: Uh duh, cartoon.

Hojo: How long will you hold that comment against me I mean really?

Mickey: Could we end the show now so I can swear at Mr. Hojo.

Camera Guy: uh yeah.

Mickey: Okay. Cool, (To Hojo) You-


	12. It's Godzilla

Mickey: Last time on Total Action Kingdom, the players stood up to each other in a good ol' fashion sing off. We some god, some bad, some uh, rather shocking. In the end, our two guest judges and I decided that two players from each team would be going home. Oh by the way, did I mention that Cloud and Ven came back. Cause that's kinda important. We'll see how they do again on TOTAL...ACTION...KINGDOM.

_(theme song_)

Sora: Hey guys, I've been thinking.

Leon: That's a first.

Sora: Well if we're on the same island as last time, and we have felt any ways of the Earth move. In adition, we cant seem to find any beach. And if the Theory of Plate Tectonics is correct when mixed with the Geographical theory of Earth. Which means we have no way of moving. And if this show is that popular, when you add together the odds of this island being out of humanity and the odds of nobody watching us you get 6:193, which is just under Einstiens guess of the humanities chance of ending. Then you put together the leaks and background landscape and some addresses with each of those fans. You get a high probability of being found. So Why has no one found us yet.

Cloud: Huh.

Riku: I don't know.

(Miles from the coast, guards are holding back hundreds of fangirls)

Fan #1: WE LOVE YOU, RIKU!!!!!

Fan #2: LEON, FATHER MY CHILD!!!! YAH!!

Midnight Rebel Spy: Yay! I'm on the show

(The Island)

Leon: I guess we'll never know.

PA System: Goooooood morning, players. were cutting it close to the fainale so things are about to heat up *hehe*. Well meet me at the Japan District. Domo, playas.

(Japan District, the players are looking around for Mickey)

Leon: Where is he?

Terra: He's probably doing something stupid.

Ven: As always.

(The ground shakes)

Cloud: What was that?!

Aqua: I don't know.

Sora: I-I think I do.

Kairi: What it it.

Sora: Look. (He points at a giant robot Godzilla)

Everyone: *screams*

PA System: (Mickey's voice) That's right, the player who kills this beast wins the extra life. Ha! And the causuilties... well, who care. RUN!

(Everyones)

Roxas: You don't really think we can die.

Cloud: No, Mickey likes us too much. (Cloud barely dodges a flame from the Godzilla). Okay, he'll probably kill us)

Namine: What do we do.

Sora: What else besides run?

Terra: Alright, we all work together. That's the only way we can survive.

Leon: We'll hide in the mess hall and think of a plan.

(Everyone jumps in the hall)

Aerith: Okay, it's a robot...

Kairi: ... so it can be disabled.

Cloud: But how?

Ven: there has to be a mainframe inside it.

Roxas: I'm not going inside that!

Terra: Good, cause we got a plan for the people who don't go.

(Outside, the monster is looking for them and they throw Roxas out in a shrimp costume)

Namine: Luv ya, sweetie.

Roxas: Wait, (He runs back to the hall, but the shut they door as soon as he get's there) Aw man.

(They watch as Roxas runs and sreams from the monster)

Leon: Okay, it's distracted. We head in through the mouth.

Everyone: Break!

(On the streets)

Roxas: (He trips and the monster comes closer) No! No! No, no! Oh wait there's an off switch. (He turns the monster off and the others fall out)

Mickey: Congratulations, Roxas! You killed Godzilla. Hence, you win the 1up. See you guys at the next eliminations.

(Eliminations)

Mickey: The votes are in and they have been tallied. Roxas, Sora, Kairi, Riku, Cloud, Aerith, Namine, Terra, Aqua, Ven come get your controllers. Which means Leon you're out dude.

Leon: Huh? How?

Mickey: My guess would be that your plan failed.

(Everyone wathes Leon leave on the boat and wave good bye)


	13. The Bonus Round

Mickey: Hey, I know we haven't posted in a while, and we're still working on the next episode. So we decided to have a bonus episode! That's right. Today, we're going to eliminate someone, but it will be a non-canon episode. Sora, Kairi, Riku, Cloud, Aerith, Roxas, Namine, Terra, Aqua, Ven, Lulu. Who will it be? Find out on TOTAL... BONUS... KINGDOM!

_(Theme Song)_

Mickey: Welcome everyone. Today there will be three challenges. The Bonus Rounds. First is the "Find-Out-Who-Is-Safe-A-Thon". The winner is Riku 'cause he's the sexiest.

Riku: Yes!

Everyone: (Dreamily) And he deserved it.

Mickey: (Dreamily) Yeah, (Nomal) Anyway. Challenge two. The "Who-Else-Is-Also-Safe-Rally". Sora, Kairi, Cloud, and Aerith 'cause I like you.

Roxas: But I was here last season, why not me.

Mickey: 'Cause you're a whiney, no-good, stupid, homo, retarded, annoying, wierd, fat, horny, old, ugly, sack of worthless, good-for-nothing, sad excuse for an Organization XIII member and I hate you. But other than that, I like you and you're an okay guy. C'mon up here, you're safe too.

Roxas: Okay, I found that unnecissary, but I'll take it.

Mockey: Last challenge. The "Person-I-Never-Really-Like-Stand-Off". Lulu, you're a goth, so get out.

Lulu: you can't discriminate becasue of appearence. I could sue for wrongful termination.

Ven: Yeah, she can dress hpwever she wants.

Mickey: I know, but she can't do it here. Buh Bye.

(Ven teafully says good bye as she leaves by boat)


	14. Coming to a Theater Near You

Mickey: Last week on Total Action Kingdom, it was our BONUS EPISODE. We all sat in the auditorium and waited for the pick of who got to stay. Oh, and by the way, the person making thoes picks was the greatest cartoon reality TV host ! What will happen this week? Who will leave? And Who will upchuck? Find out today on the greatest episode of Total Action Kingdom. And that statement was a check my ass can't cash. Let's see if the players can on TOTAL... ACTION... KINGDOM.

_(Theme Song)_

Sora: Okay, well answer this. Would you rather do Riku... or a fat chick.

Cloud: That's easy, Riku.

Riku: I'd do me.

Roxas: Riku wouldbe my answer, too.

Sora: Mine too.

* * *

Aerith: Okay, Riku... or your actual boyfriend.

All of the Girls: Riku.

Namine: Yeah, just for the expirience

Kairi: Me too.

* * *

Terra: Remeber the time we... what's wrong buddy.

Ven: Oh nothing.I just miss Lulu.

Terra: C'mon man, it's only been like one night. Get over it.

Aqua: I think you're being insensitive, Terra. Ven don't worry. We're here for you.

Ven: Thanks for the offer,Aqua, I appreciate it, but I think the only thing that can cheer me up now is Lulu's smile.

Lulu: Aw. That's so sweet.

Terra:Wuss.

(Aqua elbows her boyfriend)

* * *

PA System: All players report to the theater in 5.

(At the theater 5 minutes later)

Mickey: (in a Shakespere costume) Oh 999,999 munny. Where art though.

Cloud: Yo, Mic, what's up with the gay get-up.

Mickey: Glad you asked. You will get in groups of three and recite a 5 minute play a a famous judge will be me.

Riku: Are you sire? Remeber the last time you judged. It wasn't fun.

Mickey: Oh yeah, I forgot. I guess the last three voted off willbe the judges. Lulu, Leon, and Tidus.

(Lulu, Leon, and Tidus arrive on a boat)

Ven: Lulu! (He runs up and hugs her)

Lulu: Ven! (She hugs him)

Mickey: Okay, now that that's settled. It's time to give out parts and plays. Sora and Namine will play Romeo and Juliet. Roxas and Ven will play A Tale of Two Cities. Riku and Kairi will be in Sleeping Beauty. Cloud and Terra will star in Hamlet. Aqua and Aerith will play in the Three Musketeers.

Riku: Mickey, you know how ridiculous that was. I mean how can two girls play three guys. And Hamlet had two friends in exile, not one. And in A Tale of Two Cities, the guys looked exactly alike. Roxas and Ven have no canny resemblence. They look totally different.

Mickey:Well in movies, the sex muffin is stupid so... yeah. ACTION!

(Sora and Namine)

Sora: Juliet... I... uhh am-ith so-ith happy 'cause...I am-ith with you... -ith.

Namine: Yeah... Me-ith, too.

Sora: Awesome-ith

Mickey: Next!

(Roxas and Ven)

Roxas: I'm sorry I can'tdo this. I mean, look at him. He's hideous,he looks nothing like me.

Ven: And how am I supposed to act like I look like this funny looking weirdo. He isn't even attractive

Mickey: Next!

(Riku and Kairi)

Kairi: (Laying on a cot pretending to sleep)

Riku: Now I must slay the dragon to wake the princess.

Kairi: (waking up) No, you have to kiss the princess.

Riku: But the script says that I...

Kairi: Yeah, the script also says three midgets put the whole world to sleep. I think it's safe to say you have to kiss me.

Riku: But we have to follow the script exactly...

Kairi: I realize that, but if you want to win you'd kiss me.

Riku: Fine, whatever. (He slowly moves towards her, closer... closer...)

Mickey: Next!

Kairi: Oh c'mon.

(Cloud and Terra)

(They embrace in a massive sword fight that is more epic than anything ever)(You can hum "One Winged Angel" if you find it necessary)

Mickey: o_0..... Winner! Cloud, Terra that was amazing. You win. Aerith and Aqua would've sucked so it's safe to say that you guys win.

(Eliminations)

Mickey: After a grueling challenge, I stand before you with only nine controllers. How ever there are only ten of you before me. Let's start out with the invincible winners. Terra, Cloud (He tosses them to them). Now Riku, Aerith, Sora, Ven, Namine, Aqua you're all safe (He tosses them the controllers). We are down to two. I hate this the controller goes to................................................................................................... Roxas (He tosses Roxas the controller. Sorry, Aqua. You lose.

Aqua: What? I thought you liked me.

Sora: We just like everyone else better.

Terra: I'll miss you babe (He hugs her). We'll met again. I promise.

Aqua: I hope. (They make out then Aqua leaves)


	15. Out With the Old, In With the New Season

Mickey: I know it's been a good 6 month's Since we've updated TAK or TDK, but WE ARE BACK. That's right, we're back and better than ever. New characters, new episodes, new crew, and... a new game. This is Total Action Kingdom gone wild. We're pulling out all stops to bring you the greatest fanfic game show ever made. We tallied the votse from the polls on to find out who you wanted back on the show. This is a true battle of the Gladiators. This TOTAL... DISNEY... KINGDOM!

* * *

Mickey: Yup, that's right. Kingdom Hearts Characters will battle the Disney characters from Kingdom Hearts. Now before we introduce the returning players, let's look at the new season. Now remever all of those annoying grammer errors... not anymore, we're doing this on Word first to get rid of thos errors. Number two: The confession booth will appear more and it will be less complicated... _Whenever a player is in the stall, they'll be in italics. Like I am now._ Now I bet you really got attached to the originales.

* * *

Mickey: We're only having 18 competitors this time. There will be 9 Square-Enix charcters, 9 Disney Characters, 1 winner. First on the Square team... Sora.

(Sora arrives by boat) Sora: Great to be back a third time, Mic. I' really getting used to this.

Mickey: Good, good. Now the first Disney player... Hercules!

(Hercules is kissing his muscles on the boat) Hercules: Aweseome, I'm gonna kick some real butt this year. I mean, look at these muscles.

Mickey: Uhh yeah. Now the reason I brought you two out first is because you're the two captain. Sora, take this red Square flag, and Herc take this blue Disney flag. The 8 following Sora are Leon, Roxas, Cloud, Riku, Aqua, Kairi, Aerith, and......... Namine.

(The Square team runs over to Sora and the celebrate)

Mickey: Great, now the Disney team consists of..... Aladdin, Jack Skellington, Beast, Mulan, Tron, Tarzan, Donald and...... Goofy.

(The Disney team gathers and celebrates)

Mickey: Fantastic, now let's get move on. This time we'll be bunking at the ever-popular Disney Land. The contestants will have to do Disney-based challenges. Now you can't say I'll like the Squares better cause I've seen them more or that I like the Disney team better cause I'm from the same company as them, I don't really like any of them.

* * *

Mickey: What are they playing for, you ask? Well since last season was never really "finished". They're playing for the 999,999 munny that no one won last time. This season marks a break in the forth-wall this way, it uses an element totally made-up to bring two large industries together, like in the industrial revolution.

* * *

Mickey: Who will win? What will the new season be like? And will we see Riku topless again? Find out on the new season of TOTAL... DISNEY... KINGDOM!


End file.
